Not so long ago I had a bad experience with Halloween. No one did anything to me, I did this to myself.
Word of note: I’m sceptic to share this because it makes me uncomfortable but my spirit says do it anyway — share this experience! This is the third computer I’m trying to write this story on because the others decided not to work correctly; having peculiar glitches, even this one, and that’s weird, so I’m more determined now than ever.
I wasn’t long being saved/born-again, so the command to renew my mind, (Romans 12:2), wasn’t strong, that important, or understood. I was full of worldly residue, as the Halloween tradition was approaching.
In the secular world on occasions for this tradition, I played Dracula. I played Dracula for years and won much acclaim. but now I’m saved, and a pre-school ask me — who knew I played this character, would I play Dracula and pass out candy to the student body. I let them know I’d get back with them in time should I decline. I saw this as innocent, but I did take this request to my quiet spot – the place where I sit still to be with the Lord, (Psalms 46:10), which is the verse on my cover page picture on Facebook, and my prayer was to play Dracula one more time for the children.
God granted my request — but.
In my quiet spot things began to happen.
Vividly, my conscious mind had me standing behind some kind of railroad train on a track. I couldn’t shake this vision. No matter which direction I turned my head, I was there on this track with the end of the train in front of me when the train began to slowly pull off, steadily moving away from me. I was fixed.
As the distance got greater — something began to happen inside of my body.
The train was moving further away from me and my spirit begin to change. It felt as if from the top of my head I was being drained, and solitude was replacing the space. I was being emptied.
As the train moved on, fright began to settle upon me, and the solitude felt greater — not a loneliness, but solitude. I felt as if I was water inside of a vessel and the water was draining, and as the water drained, my enter being seemed to drain with it. I was getting emptier and emptier.
Solitude, fright, and now emptiness gripped me, trying to consume me. What was going on?
I could see my surroundings and the train, but everything gave me the impression that it was leaving; not only the train. I felt chilled, then fear, then loneliness weighing me down. I was alone — becoming a shell as my being was draining, gradually turning to nothingness. All of what I thought I was — bit by bit was being emptied and stripped. I felt years being erased the further this train distant itself from me. What was happening? What’s going on? This can’t be!
I quickly got hold of myself and realized — I was on my way to Hell. The train wasn’t going anywhere, I was, I was deteriorating. I had rejected God for the pleasure of impersonating a demon regardless how innocent it appeared on the surface. All that God is about was being taken from me. I didn’t realize God is me.
Everything was being removed. The little bit of me that was left — I quickly understood, there can’t be a me without Him.
God was giving me over: He loves me so much, He granted my request to go to Hell, but not with Him, but alone as it will be come judgement for those who rejected Jesus; as I was with my request.
The train was barely in sight when I screamed, STOP!!! I’M SORRY, I DIDN’T KNOW. FORGIVE ME. DON’T LEAVE ME. I DON’T WANT WHAT I’VE ASKED. I’LL CALL THE SCHOOL.
Instantly the train vanished, and it appeared that I had a revived hold of my surroundings, but was still empty; in total nothingness, moments from collapsing into a pile of what was once me. Little by little the loneliness went away followed by the fear.
I stayed indoors.
Later that day the solitude went away, but the fright and the emptiness remained. I was afraid.
I meditated about this event and its experience. I made up my mind, I was not leaving the house, but I did call the school.
The fright and emptiness took the longest, and after three days it was gone, but I still felt wounded; out of touch and out of step. Everything about me had been affected.
Everything that has life; that we know as life, has God, and is God’s; for without Him there’s nothing, and I literally mean N-O-T-H-I-N-G. We are because He is — believe it or not, existence exist because He is – believe it or not. I kept racing this through my mind along with the understanding — this life, and all that pertains to it thing, is no joke.
Glory be to God.
Gaidi
Word of note: Don’t play with the occult. It’s not innocent, but dangerous. The unsaved can’t know. Some that are saved are ignorant to it, because they haven’t renewed their minds and are just like I was, thinking it’s only fluff… BEWARE!
Those that are called, will know better, and have a story. I’ve been called, and didn’t know it, but I do now, and this is my story.
Gaidi
Heavenly Father in Jesus’ Name, thank You for the courage not to sit on what you’ve instructed me — popular or not, and for the Grace of Your instruction, amen.